I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize