I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
wow bdsm is so cute
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
