I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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