can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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