WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
