Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
