those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize