she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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