i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
