Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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