Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize