I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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