someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
