dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize