I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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