She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
