I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize