I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
