Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
