I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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