if you like me you must not know who I am
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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