Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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