sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
