The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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