I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
