...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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