I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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