You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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