Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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