I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
