we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
