Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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