IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
