I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize