Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
