You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
