I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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