i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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