I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
