those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
