I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize