when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
