I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
