Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I need to stop coming to work sober
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
