escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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