A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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