This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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