No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize