if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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