Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
