I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize