i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
