I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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