so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
