I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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