Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
