seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
