Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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